Honey, I Think The Crapper's Full

I'm sure you've always been curious of what life would be like living in a thirty-something foot recreational vehicle with a 3 and almost 1 year old. Well, here’s your chance to learn more than you most likely wanted to, as I’ve taken it upon myself to document our usual daily routine.

It has been about 10 months since we began our full-time camping adventure. Some of the process has changed recently as the infant's mobility has increased since moving in, but our routine goes something like this:

Depending on Adam's schedule, he may get up as early as 4 am but usually it’s between 6 and 8AM. On the super early days, I hide beneath the blankets to avoid the light as Adam gets ready since the bathroom sink and mirror are about 2 feet from the bed. He does his best to sneak out of the trailer quietly, so as not to prematurely wake the kids.

The children usually wake me up in one of two ways. Either Caleb wakes the baby up which makes her scream for me to come feed her, or the baby wakes Caleb up while screaming for me to come feed her. I get out of bed and come down the three steps into the living/kitchen/dining room/office - we'll call this the Main Living Area. Jael sleeps in this part of the RV during the night, so I guess it’s also the baby's room. Caleb's room is at the far end of the trailer. It has a couch with a pull out bed which Caleb sleeps in and a wood cabinet that holds the kids clothes and a TV that we've never used.

First things first, we put away the beds. Caleb's bed is folded back into the couch and Jael's pack'n'play is relocated to Caleb's room. Then on to coffee and breakfast. Cooking has become slightly less elaborate since moving into the RV. Most spaces are used for multiple purposes. For instance, the stove top is also used as a place to dry dishes. That being, breakfast is usually limited to cold cereal.

Chores are pretty simple being that there is not a whole lot to keep clean. Organization is the key though. When the toys are out and the dishes aren't done, the place suddenly looks like a disaster. Laundry is done down at the front desk building at the KOA which makes me procrastinate as long as possible before actually doing it.

Lunch, nap time and maybe a run in to town follow – not necessarily in that order. Caleb likes to play outside and swim in the KOA pool. We usually try to do that at least a few times a week.

Dinner tests my abilities to cook a full sized meal in a miniaturized kitchen. It took some getting used to, as well as forcing me to adjust many of my shopping habits. I had the tendency to try to shop for about two weeks. Shopping is not my favorite activity, to say the least. If I had to categorize it, it would be down there with things like going to the dentist. However, the refrigerator can only accommodate a fraction of the amount food I was used to buying. It’s for the best actually. I had a lot of food going to waste in my desperation to not shop as often.

Bed time involves the rearranging of the beds again. After the stories are told, kisses are doled out and the lights are turned off, Adam and I remove ourselves to the bedroom. Not a whole lot can be accomplished after bed time since we are banished from the main living area. So, we either watch a movie on the laptop, play a game, read, etc. Or go to bed since it’s usually pretty late at that point anyway. Time to sleep and repeat.

RV Living Part II: Random Things We had to Master

Bath time was challenging at first. There is only a shower stall in the RV-no bathtub. Caleb was (and is still) not a huge fan of showers but at the age of two was thrust into this apparently terrifying method of hygiene. He used to scream so horribly when it was time to take a shower that I was afraid at any moment during the process the neighbors were going to burst through the door with Child Protective Services. With time he’s gotten much better. However, I was still left with the dilemma of what to do about the infant.

I opted for a large inflatable yellow duck bathtub which I purchased from Wal-mart for around $11. I thought it a great investment. It was cheap and I could deflate it for easy storage. I was exuberantly proud of myself. (I mostly just wanted to use the word ‘exuberantly’ right there). That’s not to say I wasn’t proud of my purchase, because I was.

And it worked alright for a little while. I ended up leaving it inflated since it was more of a hassle to let the air out and blow it up all the time. There was a problem, however. Caleb immensely enjoyed squeezing the beak of the inflated duck because it would quack. In a matter of days the plastic seam connecting the beak to the head had begun to give way allowing a very small amount of air to seep out. Thus it began to look more like a duck with an eating disorder rather than the boisterous, quacking thing it was before.

I discovered this right before needing to give Jael a bath. I searched for some sort of patching device. I tried every type of tape I could find, all to no avail. Out of desperation and lack of proper patching tools, I grabbed a shoelace and wrapped it multiple times around the duck's neck, blocking any air escaping through the head and out the beak. It was necessary but also a gruesome sight as now I had strangulated the poor thing and deflated the head. But it worked for the intended purpose. After the bath I left the poor murdered duck in the shower stall and was only reminded of it when Adam arrived home and went to take a shower. Apparently he hadn't expected to find the maimed, half-inflated duck remains when he opened the door.

I replaced the duck with a suitable (non-inflatable) plastic tub shaped like a whale. It has survived to date.

Something we had to get used to was not running too many electrical devices at one time. If we do the breaker blows and we have to trudge outside and around the RV to reset it. And this always seems to happen when you are wearing nothing but underwear or you are in a hurry (most likely both). The important one we had to remember was turning off the A/C before using the microwave or the hair dryer or any combination of those.

The RV came with two TV’s. They're both slightly outdated by today's standards, but the one we use works well enough. However, it apparently has a wiring issue and it will often lose sound. We discovered over time that the only way to fix it was to whack it on the side. Other than living in a trailer, it’s the one thing that makes me feel like a redneck.

We’ve learned to never take a shower if someone else in the trailer needs to be using the water elsewhere. Or it will be frigidly cold or scorching hot, depending on which faucet the other person decides to use. Upside: If your spouse has recently said/did something thoughtless right before climbing into the shower, it can come in handy. Not that I’ve ever done something so childish…

And, of course, there is the emptying of the tanks. As Adam said half-jokingly last night, “if I have to hear one more person ask me if my crapper’s full…”

Despite the necessary adjustments, we are enjoying RV living. And there are definitely things I am going to miss when we move on. Like the closeness of the family. Literally. We are forced to be very close to each other. The ridiculous amount of money we are saving. The feel of camping and the whenever-we-want nighttime campfires. The sound of rain hitting the roof.

Also, the ability to clean the entire house in under five minutes.